Transgendered sea anemone denounced as ‘abomination’ by clergy

From the Onion archives (note th:

A coalition of Baptist clergymen spoke out Monday against the Telia felina, a transgendered sea anemone they are decrying as “base and depraved.”

“This filthy anemone, which exhibits both male and female characteristics, is turning our oceans’ intertidal zones into dens of sin and perversion,” said Rev. William Chester, spokesman for the Save Our Seas Coalition, a Huntsville-based activist group dedicated to “the preservation of aquatic decency and morality.” “For God knows how long, this twisted sea creature has been running rampant in our oceans, spreading its unnatural, bisexual lifestyle. And it’s high time somebody took a stand.”

The controversial anemone, common to warm-water reefs and basins worldwide, has been practicing its alternative sexual lifestyle at least as far back as 1859, when Charles Darwin first catalogued its phylum and species. Since then, over 40 subspecies of Telia felina have been identified as dually gendered.

The Baptist group also strongly denounced the anemone’s reproductive habits and family structure.

“Unlike so many respectable, God-fearing creatures, the Telia felinareproduces asexually, openly mocking traditional family values by giving birth to and raising its young in a single-parent setting,” Chester said. “This anti-Christian anemone, which has the audacity to think that a child can grow up properly without the benefit of two loving parents, is truly the Murphy Brown of the deep.”

Read the rest here

One Response to “Transgendered sea anemone denounced as ‘abomination’ by clergy”

  1. world clock says:

    Transgendered sea anemone denounced as ‘abomination’ by clergy | SeaMonster – just great!

Leave a Reply